Why do we feel such a strong need for others to think what we think, do what we do, and agree with us?

Two topics that are constantly “hot” in my current season are my career/living plan and my baby’s routine. And I’ve noticed something interesting - when someone does things differently, it often triggers a negative emotion in others. Almost like their way of living is heard as you’re wrong or you’re not validated.

I’m guilty of this too.
I over-explain.
I back myself up with examples.
I defend.

Why?

Because we all want to feel right. To feel validated.

But the truth is, I don’t actually believe most things are right or wrong in a black-and-white way. What I’m practicing now is something different:
keeping my mouth shut (heavy emphasis on practicing), softening my mind, and meditating on what someone else is saying - without needing to insert myself into it.

Reminding myself:
They are not me.
I am not them.
We can hold different truths without either being threatened.

As you read my “plan,” you will almost certainly feel moments of judgment, assumptions, or the urge to interject with what you would do.

When that happens - pause.

Instead of responding in your mind, try this:

Then notice:
Has the urge to correct or convince softened even a little?

I’m a single mom to a 20-month-old, living with my parents.
I co-parent with a dad who lives anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours away depending on traffic.

Right now, I live in the suburbs. I’ve researched the numbers:

Closer to the city - near my son’s dad - those numbers nearly double:

That context matters.

Start my son in part-time daycare in March.
This allows me to:

Explore multiple 1099 contracts.
I’m prioritizing:

I’m also open to a W-2 role if it offers:

Once income is solid:

Find a house or townhome, not an apartment.
(And yes - pause here if you feel the urge to tell me apartments are “fine.” Living with a hyper-active, outdoor-loving toddler changes that equation & I have enough working experience to find a role that can give me a certain lifestyle I am aiming for.)

This move would triple my current costs.
Right now I live rent-free, contribute minimally to groceries, and cover my basic expenses.

That financial peace matters to me.

Healthcare is a big one.

I understand why it’s a top priority for many - but it isn’t for me right now.

The math:

My son has healthcare. He is fully covered - as he should be.

My priority is:

Those priorities don’t always match what makes sense on paper for someone else.

This topic gets loud.

Many friends believe the struggle would disappear if I:

What’s often forgotten is context.

Most of my married mom friends haven’t lived this version of motherhood.
Most of my single-mom friends? They co-sleep. They breastfeed longer. Every single one I know.

Neither is right or wrong.

What is true is that there are layers to my decisions that aren’t visible from the outside. And I’m learning to hold advice gently—without needing to defend myself every time.

This year has taught me that many of the people who love me are also very far removed from the walk of life I’ve been living.

I am:

So the noise comes at me - often loudly - not out of malice, but unfamiliarity.

And interestingly, the person who offers the least unsolicited advice?

A married, stay-at-home mom with the white picket fence life. (opposite of me/my situation)

Why?

Because her mom was me.

She doesn’t fully understand - but she understands enough to stay in her lane.

A few days after writing this, I sat in on a business consulting meeting.

Much of the guidance given to the business owner being consulted boiled down to one simple directive:

Cut the noise.

The consultant explained that the quickest path to growth - in business and in life - is learning how to quiet the external input that pulls us away from our main focus. The opinions. The projections. The constant stream of shoulds.

Noise detours us from our true north.
From our internal intuition.
From the clarity that already exists when we give ourselves space to hear it.

And I realized - I’ve been practicing this in real time.

I’ve been cutting the noise when job offers or opportunities come in that don’t align with my career interests, my goals, or this season of life. It’s hard to turn down opportunities when they come knocking - in business and in life - but misalignment is loud if you’re willing to listen.

The same has shown up in dating.

I used to think I should give everyone a fair chance. And then I catch myself and think:
Kenzie, cut the noise.

You know what you want.
You know what you don’t.
You feel that clarity in your body.

Don’t waste your time - or theirs. Time is precious. Time is energy. Time is money. Time cannot be given back.

It’s the same in work.
It’s the same in business.

If you’re an owner or a decision-maker, the invitation is the same: cut the noise.

You will always have job opportunities to hold space for.
You will always have options to vet, to hear out, to consider.
You will always have choices - in leadership, in career, in love.

The work isn’t eliminating options.

The work is learning how to listen long enough to get clear -
clear on what deserves space,
clear on what requires discernment,
and clear enough to decide if and when it’s time to cut the noise.

Listening without absorbing.
Honoring advice without adopting it.
Trusting that my “why” doesn’t need constant explanation.

And reminding myself:

Different lives require different wisdom.
Different seasons require different decisions.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do—for others and for ourselves—is to pause, breathe, listen deeply…

…and then decide if and when it’s time to cut the noise.

With Grace & Grit
- Kenzie

Dinner gets tense. Bedtime gets pushed. Someone cries. Someone snaps.

And tomorrow you'll do it all over again.

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