“Why don’t you drink?”

It’s the question I’ve learned to brace for at dinners, weddings, girls’ nights, work events — you name it. And every time I hear it, the response that flashes through my mind is simple:

Why do you care?

We live in a culture where drinking is still the norm. Even with the rise of mocktails, non-alcoholic beers, and movements like Dry January, opting out of alcohol still feels like opting out of the script. And when someone breaks the script, it can make people uncomfortable.

I’ve never been a big drinker. I didn’t start drinking until college — not out of rebellion or curiosity, but mostly because that’s when it felt “expected.” Even then, I never loved it. I was a rule follower, yes, but more than that, I just didn’t like how alcohol made me feel.

So as I moved into adulthood, I found myself naturally reaching for La Croix, Topo Chico, a mocktail, or even hot tea at girls dinners instead of wine or cocktails. Not as a statement. Just as a choice.

And that choice? It stirred things up. People got curious or made assumptions.

When you don’t drink, it can make other people feel things. A lot of things.

And that’s okay.

But if you’re someone who feels uncomfortable, defensive, or even judged when someone else isn’t drinking, I want to challenge you (especially during this very popular season of Dry January) to pause and ask yourself one simple question:

Why?

Instead of asking them why they aren’t drinking, ask yourself why you are.

You may be surprised by what comes up.

I didn’t like how alcohol made me feel, I saw no pros to drinking.

Not just in the moment — but after.

the list goes on and on

let’s talk about the cost — financially and otherwise. When I stopped drinking, I saved a lot of money (especially at girls’ dinners). I started waking up earlier. I worked out more. That led to healthier eating, which led to better habits. Reading instead of binge-watching, walking instead of laying in bed recovering, choosing momentum over stagnation.

One small choice created a ripple effect. A positive one.

I asked myself that question honestly.

The answer? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I can still socialize.
I can still laugh.
I can still connect.
I can still be fun.

The only thing I needed was something in my hand.

Sparkling water with lime.
A mocktail.
Tea.

Funny enough, once I had a glass or a can in my hand, most people didn’t even notice I wasn’t drinking. And if they did — that’s where the real conversation began.

I don’t need alcohol to:

And if you do — that’s not a judgment. It’s an invitation.

An invitation to ask yourself

Why has alcohol become the go-to instead of movement, rest, community, or healthier dopamine hits like exercise that actually boost endorphins and reduce stress?

Is it the habit of cracking open a cold one after work?
Ordering a drink just because everyone else is?
Holding something familiar because it feels comfortable?

How hard would it really be to crack open a sparkling water instead?
Order a mocktail?
Choose something different — even just once?

This isn’t about telling anyone what to do.

It’s about awareness.

It’s about questioning what we do on autopilot.
It’s about noticing the habits we’ve inherited instead of chosen.
It’s about realizing that opting out doesn’t mean missing out.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is pause — and ask yourself:

Why?

Because when you do, you might find that the answer has less to do with alcohol… and more to do with identity, routine, comfort, and culture.

And that awareness?
That’s where real choice begins.

As someone who hasn’t had a drink in over two years and three months, I’ll be honest — there are still moments. Weddings. Dinners. Social events. I’ve reached for a drink or almost accepted a glass of wine more times than I can count.

And every time, I pause and ask myself: why?

Not because I suddenly want alcohol. Not because I miss how it made me feel. But because the moment itself feels familiar. Because my hand feels empty. Because everyone else is doing it. Because it’s what I used to do.

And that’s when it hits me — it’s not desire. It’s conditioning. When I became pregnant I condition myself to find alcohol free options and i’ve never felt compelled to look back. Maybe I’ll have a drink again one day but for now I ask. myself, why?